While reading the random blog posts by my fellow single moms I came across one woman who spoke about a date she had a few months ago. After a great, romantic date, he kissed her and whispered, "You'd be perfect if you didn't have kids." Wha?! WTF?!! Really? The woman was understandable upset by this declaration, but the guys just didn't understand why she was so angry. Again, WTF??
It's not like he just told her that he wasn't a fan or her wall color or suggested her favorite lipstick wasn't as flattering as she thought it was. He literally just told her that the only flaw she contained were the beings she created, carried in her body for 10 months, nursed, diapered, burped, and rocked to sleep for years. That's like someone telling me they can't be with me because I have crooked fingers and tiny toes-those things are just as much a part of my as my children.
I mean, how do you respond to that, other than a swift bitch-slap across the face?! Is there a single word or utterance that can possibly explain the full range of emotions a comment that insensitive brings? Somehow "Fuck you" just doesn't seem to be enough, but I'm not sure that anything would properly express my feelings.
Now, do not get me wrong, my babies say "please" and "thank you" and can be the sweetest, most loving darlings in the entire known world. However, I refer to my chirens as Thing 1 and Thing 2 for reasons that are not hard for anyone to figure out. After all they are preschoolers that are 22 months apart-the oldest not even 4. While they have heard the words "quiet" and "still", they have no real concept of their meanings. I have told them several times that if they weren't so cute people really would hate them everywhere we go; it's bad enough pretty much everyone who has ever been in a store with us could tell you my children's names. They are really cute though.
I have to admit that THAT exact comment is what scares me about this whole single mom thing. What if the man that is perfect for them just doesn't light my fire. I don't particularly want a replay of the whole "I'm married so my kids have a family" episode, but I really would like for them to have a daddy that isn't mine. I don't think that's too much to ask, but it's a hell of a responsibility to thrust on someone's shoulders.
Is it too much to ask? Is it too much to look for that someone will love those two smaller pieces of me as much as they love me? I think it is, but I also think that I'll run into several road blocks before I find my way.
I love your writing!
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