Totally Mom Sexy-and Not a Size 2

 As you guys may or may not know, I am a blog stalker. It's true. The voyeuristic glimpses into someone else's life that make me know I'm not a total freak of nature is the panacea of my heart and soul. Seriously! It really does make me feel better to know there are more like me out there...Buahaha!

Anyway, one of my favorite's is having her one year blogaversary and I'm too excited to help her out with a bit of a post in celebration of this momentous occasion. Why? Well, because the Mommyologist is hilarious, totally fun, and someone I would SO be friends with in real life and not just cyberspace. I mean, you guys all know how much a I love a person who is real and doesn't embellish their thoughts and feelings. I don't so why should you?

Anyway, The mommyologist is all about bringing the Sexy Mom Back-regardless of what you "feel" you have become...You HAVE to read her inspiration for this post (click on link above)...all will be explained there. Trust me!!
Out of all the options to declare myself a sexy mom I chose, "I will never ever be a size 2, but I’m still Mom Sexy" because let's face it, Umm, I really will never be a size 2. Why? Well, let's just look at the many reasons that size 2 is pretty much unattainable....

1. I'm pretty such my basic bone structure is larger than a size 2; in fact, it probably closer to a 6, but then I'd just be a skeleton with skin stretched over it. I seriously DO have a large bone structure (I've taken all the "tests" that determine it, ok people. I know these things), especially for someone who is only 5'3".

2. There is no one in my family that is, ever has been, or ever will be a size 2. (Again the whole bone structure thing, ya know.)

3. I like to eat. Crunch, slurp, chew, sip, bite, savor, or roll...I do love to do it all.

4. I like food. there are sooo many yummy things in the world that I just cannot think of a single reason why I'd want to prevent myself from eating most of them in order to squeeze myself into a size that looks as if only fits small children and "little people".

5. Taking inspiration from #4, I do not think size 2 really exists. Seriously. Have you ever held up a size 2? I seriously think they are just misplaced toddler sizes. Who wears that shit? Is anyone that size in real life...and that mystical fairly-land called "celebrity" does not count because anyone who gets paid to work out, has a tummy tuck along with their  Csection, or appears nude to millions of people on a regular basis is just NOT a real person. Sorry.

Now, how in the hell does any of that make me a sexy mom you ask? Because I am real. I'm a curvy bundle of pure happy that gets cuter when I get angry, or so I'm told pretty often.  I am a natural (bottle hair color not the issue here people) and attainable entity that gives living and breathing affection and love.

I do not worry so much about clothing size and potential rolls that I cannot appreciate the feel of hands on my waist or tummy when circled from behind. Not only am I a naturally touchy-feely person, but I am remembering how much I crave touch. My grouchy moods are caused when trying to be "hands off" with the world. A hand, a hug, or the briefest graze of a finger tip is all I need to keep smiling and moving in a positive direction.

I'm a giver, a spoiler, a motivator, a nurturer, a hugger, a snuggler, and a damn fine cook.  What's not to find amazingly sexy? Oh, and although I can't tell a joke to save my soul, I am seriously effing funny. Seriously!

Truthfully, everything that makes me who I am makes me a sexy mom...and it also all the things that make a size 2 completely unnecessary.