Random thoughts and musings of a single Mom striving to follow dreams and find pure BLISS.

That's What I Said.

Because I love the rawness and hilarity of her words, Pretty All True is one of the first blogs I read in the morning. In fact, I get a notification on my toolbar when a new post is published and I instantly click on it. (Although I have learned to look for the warning labels she is kind enough to place at the top of a post in case the kids are running around.)

Today's post was, like most of her posts, honest and raw, but this one had a different twist. This one hinted at a much darker time than she normally shares. It tasted of sadness and regret and I rolled it across my tonuge until I was sure to have sucked the marrow from it. Her mother admitted to never knowing what she endured at the hands of her father and a string in my soul was plucked and stretched farther than it has been in a while.

Not in sadness, you understand. No, in complete understanding. Below you will read my comment to her post and her reply. (You will so understand why I love this woman and totally want to be her friend in the most serious and non-stalker way possible.)

Jamie: I read the words of your mother and I hear my own voice-my voice from over a year ago, before I left my ex-husband. The guilt I had for taking my children’s father from them was overwhelming and suffocating at the time and I almost caved because how could I be so selfish to put my personal happiness above that of my children’s. I’ve been where your mother was.

It wasn’t until months later when my son’s nightmares finally stopped that I realized my ex was the “bad” guy in every single nightmare he’d had since he could tell me what happened in his dreams. (My daughter had just turned a year old and my son was almost three when I left.) He still gets shy around men he doesn’t know. Sigh. Now I tend to chastise myself for not seeing the world as it was before I finally worked up the courage to leave-when I was still a coward who thought she was lower than shit. I’ve been where you mom was.

Now my children are 2 and 4 and our happiness knows no bounds, or screaming, or harsh words, or icy glares and silences. To borrow a phrase from you…we are all kinds of awesome now.

Kris: I have no adequate words for what you have shared here.

Know that I love and respect my mother.

And I am happy she is not there now.

And I am happy that you are not there now.

And that instead you are all kinds of awesome now.

I am all teary.

Love you.


  1. I have some tears.

    I have a dear friend whose ex-husband is an addict/alcoholic. The hell continued until her children were in middle school. It took her longer to see that she had to leave. As someone whose parents are still married, and a wife who prays her husband will never give her cause to leave, I cannot imagine the heartache or hell both of you faced.

    But just like you have reminded me through your comments and your blog you keep going and you are better for it.

  2. What an amazing thought! I'm so glad you and your little ones are happy...that's all that matters! You are such an amazing mommy and made the absolute right decision!!

    I love Kris's blog too. I read it every day that I can...because of you. You're the one who turned me on to her.

    Plus also? (tee hee hee)

    I love your blog, too!

    Love you!!


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