Fat is the new Black

While I've been hearing the scuttlebutt around the Internet for a few weeks about an offensive article in Marie Claire, I didn't bother to read it because I try not to purposely read something that will piss me off. Ya know?!

SO, when Jen Lancaster chimed in with her own reaction to the article I took the bait and read it, along with her-very well put-response to the author.

In case you guys haven't read this jem of literary magnificence, I give you the opportunity here to read it complete with my own running commentary.


 Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)Wow, you SO went there in the title? Really?

by Maura Kelly




The other day, my editor asked me, "Do you really think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?" Slow news day, kitten? I guess everyone has to take a break from deep investigative reporting like new sex positions and what products Jennifer Anniston uses on her hair-you know, the hair do that hasn't changed in 15 years. We So care. Really.  



Because I can be kind of clueless say it ain't so?— I'm not much of a TV person how very cultured of you, I guess you are a much better person than me— I had no idea what she was talking about, so she steered me to this CNN article, about the CBS sitcom Mike & Molly. As CNN explains, "the show centers around a couple who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous group [and] has drawn complaints for its abundance of fat jokes [as well as] cries from some viewers who aren't comfortable watching intimacy between two plus-sized actors." I tend to think of fat jokes in the same vein as religious or ethnic jokes..you can tell it if you are apart of it. For example, I can tell Catholic jokes and "Mic" jokes because I am both, but I'm not as willing to laugh if told be an Italian protestant. Just me.


My initial response was: Hmm, being overweight is one thing — those people are downright obese! So, what is your medical training to determine that? Did you run tests and take measurements? And while I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit I'm so proud that you know a big word, pumpkin in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity! So, a show that features fat people is promoting fat as the new black? Yes, anorexia is sick that's a big left field, we were talking about fat people, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny there isn't on damn woman who is 5'10" and 100 naturally. Fuck you!. No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy. Whoa, I'd love for the actors who play those characters to whip your ass to show you how unhealthy they are!And obesity is costing our country far more in terms of all the related health problems we are paying for, by way of our insurance, than any other health problem, even cancer. Were you told this or do you have charts? Where is you actual evidence? Cite it! (Not that I don't believe it, but she's throwing too much info around that isn't being cited.)


So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each otherwell, I don't want to watch a couple of bony people spearing each other with their jutting bones while trying to embrace one another. CLANK! ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.Holy shit! That is really the most offensive thing I've ever heard in my life. As the former wife of an alcoholic, I can tell you watching someone work real hard to drink themselves into oblivion every single day is MUCH less aesthetically pleasing than a big person walking. Advice: Don't Fucking Watch! Turn you head, which I'm sure is bleached out blond with four pounds of makeup to make up for the dark circles and sickeningly protruding cheekbones from waking up at 4AM each morning to work out fiendishly while living on martini olives and lettuce.



Now, don't go getting the wrong impression too late for that shit!: I have a few friends who could be called plump Oh, well, how open-minded of you; what are they, a size 6 instead of a "healthy" size 4? Wonder if they will return your calls now?. I'm not some size-ist jerk.LIE!!! And I also know how tough it can be for truly heavy people to psych themselves up for the long process of slimming down Oh you DO? So, what part of your existence have you ever spent with a weight problem? . (For instance, the overweight maintenance guy at my gym has talked to me a little bit about how it seems worthless for him to even try working out, because he's been heavy for as long as he can remember.) Awe, look how sweet you are to actually talk to help, even if he is a fatty.


But ... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.I'd like to repeat the question from earlier about how long your' battled your own weight problem? How's that anorexia coming?


(I'm happy to give you some nutrition and fitness suggestions if you need them — but long story short, eat more fresh and unprocessed foods, read labels and avoid foods with any kind of processed sweetener in them whether it's cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, increase the amount of fiber you're getting, get some kind of exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week, and do everything you can to stand up more — even while using your computer — and walk more. I admit that there's plenty that makes slimming down tough, but YOU CAN DO IT! Trust me. It will take some time, but you'll also feel so good, physically and emotionally. A nutritionist or personal trainer will help — and if you can't afford one, visit your local YMCA for some advice.)If it's SO damn easy and simple then why is most of America heavy? And I don' know who are are when you are at home, but you sure as shit ain't anything that I feel the need to take YOUR advice when it comes to a nutrition and fitness regime. 

Then again, I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So ... points for trying?how gracious you are...

Then again, I tend to think most television shows are a kind of junk food for the mind and body.because you aren't an elitist bitch or anything.  The boob tube gives us an excuse to turn off both our brains and our bodies and probably does a helluva lot to contribute to the obesity problem, love the instant analysis on culture. maybe you should be elected to the federal government since you can obviously solve every one's problems with a random blanket of one-size-fits-all information. over all. So ... I don't know. No. no, you really don't. Finally a true statement.


What do you guys think? If they agree with you, probably very little. Fat people making out on TV — are you cool with it? Do you think I'm being an insensitive jerk? Yep, pretty much, thanks for asking, BTW. Oh, and your editor is also a complete schmuk! 



Now, any of you that are not familiar with the amazingly and biting hilarious Jen Lancaster; allow me to introduce her to you via her counterpoint to the hateful bitch.





I think I may go have a cookie...