Random thoughts and musings of a single Mom striving to follow dreams and find pure BLISS.

Continued Crush

So, in case you guys weren't paying attention or thought I was kidding, I really do have a crush on a boy. Seriously. Now I'm taknig a chance he may read this, but since I'll never actually tell him in person I guess it's ok, but I doubt he's reading this.  It's also why I include no protect the innocent. Or maybe just me...

So, I realized soon after the whole divorce thing that I've NEVER been good at this whole dating thing and I'm pretty sure I'm even worse at it now having not worried about it or even thought about it in almost ten years.  I do not even know how to tell if a guy is interested in me or not. I guess my crush is kinda my training wheels to getting my Groove back-if I ever had a groove to begin with.

One of my friends told me to read He's Just Not That Into You, but I have no access to a library here in Hotlanta and it's $12 to download onto my Kindle. I don't think it's THAT important.

However, I have discovered that I really do love to flirt. Is that good? Humm, not sure, but I do. The boy and I chat at least once a day and I get a bit bolder each time. it's so much fun to have attention paid to me. tee-hee

He is giving me an idea of what would be nice to have in a guy...
* A good job. (While I'd love to not teach and just sit and write I realize that's not possible. But it's a nice dream.)
* A good father or soemone who would make a good father.  (I really want someone who will treat MY kids the way my Dad always treated Kim. I'm nto a fan of the whle Step thing, either they are your kids or not. That's jsut how I feel about it.)
* Likes to have fun in a variety of ways-some of which even include very simple things. (I still want to be taken on a date to a place that does not serve beer. Seriously! When I was married we didn't go ANYWHERE that didn't serve beer. Ask me how long it's been sicne I've been to the movies? LONG TIME! Why? They don't serve beer. Sad? Umm yeah, but that's what happens when you are married to an alcoholic. Definitly don't want one of THOSE again.)
* Someone who is not competitive with me and let's me have MY time without jealousy.
* Doesn't NEED me to love everything he loves or likes, but doesn't poop on what I like or love.
* Doesn't take everything in life SO seriously that he can't relax
* I never have to worry about something I say or do causing a huge uproar and ending in either a 45 minute lecture on why I'm wrong and what 's wrong with me or the silent treatment.
* Pays attention to me.
* Flirts with me.
* Is proud to have me on him arm even if I'm having a bad hair day or gain a bit of weight.
* Is supportive of whatever I have to do to lose weight (Of course it will be dafe, but let's not bitch about cutting back on unhealthy stuff and adding healthier stuff.)
* Doesn't play silly games like a high school kid-Say whatcha mean and mean whatcha say. Period.
* I'd like to be spoiled instead of constantly spoiling him. (Basically treats me like a princess, or a Queen.)

I'm not saying this crush of mine is all of those things or will ever be, but he gives me hope that I really will find the guy who is. Because I've decided I deserve to be loved well and correctly.


  1. yes you do, Jamie girl.... I know God has something wonderful in store for you. His timing is always perfect,, trust and obey... I love you, and I am glad to have you back!!!!

  2. Aunt Tanzie...I'm awfully glad to BE back!!!

  3. keep crushing on whoever you have the chance now to be picky. If there is one thing I have learned thru my divorce from hell is that 1. not a good idea to jump into another relationship just because its familiar for you to be in one 2. Take a big FAT break and concentrate on you. Queen or no queen never let anyone determine your future..or your dreams...sure its nice to go roll in the hay but holding out for someone who you feel fits you is by far the most rewarding thing..Now is the time to do all the things that you have always wanted to do..for you and the kids. Yes it sucks at living at home as an adult but sometimes we need those forces surrounding us to bolster us until we get back on our proverbial feet. Dont feel bad about happy that you have family that will back you up! I didnt have that and its a tough row to enjoy this time...focus on Jamie (and kids)..I have a favorite saying "No one makes you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) I had to LIVE by that to remind me that being single wasnt all that bad and I wasnt going to ALLOW anyone to make me feel bad....I healed for a long time before going out with someone on a steady basis (2 years)so go for it...we are all here to watch you grow!


Questions, Comments, Concerns, Thoughts?