Random thoughts and musings of a single Mom striving to follow dreams and find pure BLISS.

40 mg days

Truthfully, it's been a 40 mg week. (for the past few weeks). I am a relatively simple creature and always have been. I am happy until someone or something screws it up. Hell I can even handle it when someone screws up my happiness and still be there are always limits that a person can be pushed.

In case you guys haven't guessed, I am so far past my personal limit I am finding it difficult to breathe. Seriously.

I'm living a "damned if I do and damned if I don't" episode of a fucked up TV series right now. Maybe a Lifetime one. I do something nice-I did it wrong. I do something to help-I did that wrong too. I do something I'm asked to do-I do that shit wrong as well. However, if I do nothing at all-I'm just as wrong as I would be if I did anything. Hum, guess what my solution is? That's right, faithful few, I try to remember not to do shit. Hell, if I'm gong to be berated and reminded how wrong everything I do is, I'd rather it be for not doing just feels less personal that way. Ya know?!

This week we have K with us. love the kid, but if I have to watch one more episode of tween-TV (iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place, etc.) I'm not sure if I will puke, throw up, or explode. However, i do know where he gets the eye roll and hand-on-head deep sigh shit from. Those shows. OMG, those kids are sassy and sacrcastic and rude. I'm not sure why it's "cute" but obviously someone thinks it is. I'm terrified T1&T2 will pick up on it and force me to smack the hell out of them for it. (It may seem cruel or  terrible, but do not for a second think I will hesitate to thrust my hand across the mouth of my children when needed or appropriate. For example, my son hollered in my face one time...ask me if he has ever done it again.)

SO, moving on...what did I do to soothe myself today? Well, duh! I did what every occasional, self-loathing, emotional eater does...I totally overate at dinner and then had a big bowl of ice cream with the kids. Why? Becuase physical discomfort does distract from emotional discomfort. It's true. Wanna know how I know this? because I'm an emotional eater.

Tomorrow is another day...maybe I'll only need 20.

1 comment:

  1. (((huggs))) I love you Jamie Girl. And do not be decieved - ice cream has healing qualities. I try to demonstrate same at LEAST once a week. Godiva white chocolate raspberry is good for what ails ya. So is Baseball Nut at Baskin Robbins. I think there are more than 40mg worth of happiness in a spoonful of Starbucks java chip AND I can feel the surge of dopamine when I take a bite of Mayfield Caramel Coyote.

    Eat your ice cream girl! You have to find happiness where you can and grab on with both hands - it is a precious commodity.


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