The End of a Year

Looking back over this past year and change I am awestruck by my own perseverance. Seriously, I might as well toot my own fucking horn here because just how many people do you know that could have not only survived the past two years of my life, let alone come out smiling....I mean really.

TOOT-TOOT!!!!!!

Anyway, I will begin my saying that I found 2009 to be the shittiest year in recorded history. There are just no accurate words to described the incredibly fucked up nature of that whole year. There are very few people I know who do NOT look at that year with disdain, but I have special reason to hate everything about it...

First, I lose my wonderful Aunt on Christmas Day (so, it was technically 2008, but you will understand in a minute why it all fits together.). Then, exactly 30 days later, on Jan 25th, I lose my Uncle. (It would be terribly romantic if it were people NOT related to me, but it's fucking terrible and depressing when you really love those people.) Then, a few months later, I lose my Godfather, who was also my Great Uncle. 

Can we say my family was having a shitty year and I was about to get worried for my Pop?! I mean REALLY people.

Anyhoo...A few months later I lose my marriage and family until thrusting me into full Single Mom status. Yippymotherfuckingskippy!

The rest of 2009 was spent with me trying desperately to figure out what the fuck I was supposed to do now that I had to start from the begining.

2010 began somehow...I seriously do not remember. Truthfully, I only remember thinking on New Year's Day that I went the whole day without crying and it was the first New Year's Day I hadn't cried in somewhere around 10 years. (Speaking of shitty and fucked up)

This past year was spent trying to navigate the mind-field of living with my parents, (ok, so maybe just my mom-God love her), trying to find a job, and trying to figure out exactly what I want out of life.

Do I know now? Nope.

Am I closer than I was two years ago? Oh hell yeah!!!

So, my New Year's day this year will be spent with a beautiful man who starts each conversation with "Hello gorgeous" or "hello beautiful" and I predict I will not cry this year either.

Tonight I am (besides typing this quickly from another room) hanging out with my bf D and my kiddies. We ate pizza, baked cookies, and have laughed a ton so far. Once the kiddies fall asleep or at least hold still a little while, we will have a drink and gossip about life.

So far, I'm a fan of 2011...