I'll Never Understand

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck....sigh damn.

So sorry, usually I give you guys a warning before I launch into a tirade, but I'm all about being honest. This is my honest right now.

Why is it that when a guy has a kid it's all wonderful and precious, but a girl has a kid it's scary? Huh? Why? I swear I will never in my whole damn life understand this stupid guy/dating shit. I mean wtf?!

You talk for hours and say they like you and then...nothing.

Or decide they aren't ready for "kids in my life" right now.

Ummm, did I mistakenly ask someone to marry me? Oh wait...NO. No, I didn't.

In fact, I haven't asked a goddamn person to take care of me or my kids because they are mine and mine ALONE.  (A fact I am very fucking aware of thankyouveryfuckingmuch.)

Now I believe the women who give away or hurt their children because the new men in their lives are lower than low-more deplorable than Hitler skinning a baby seal with an elephant tusk knife. However, after the handful of dates I've had in the past sixish months,  the complete hopelessness that crossed their weak little minds must have been numbing and overwhelming.

Sometimes it is for me, but I swallow it down. I get it out of my brain and my heart because I will not let it defeat me. I can't. 

But it does get me down sometimes times, guys. It really does.

And in case you didn't notice...today is one of those times.