Random thoughts and musings of a single Mom striving to follow dreams and find pure BLISS.

The Field Trip That Wasn't

Today was supposed to be Tristan's first ever real field trip. He was supposed to go to the aquarium in New Orleans and the IMax with the entire school.(In truth, I was nervous about him going because I felt he was a bit too young to go on a field trip so far away fromhome, but I didn't want my nervous nature to keep him from doing things with his class. I had an even worse feeling about it when I woke up to rain, but was determined to still let him go. It's only fair, right?!) Did he go? No. Why? Umm, let me tell you...

It was a pretty good morning, despite the fact that it was dark and rainy and we had to leave the house about the time we are usually getting dressed for school. However, I'm a stickler for being on time, so by God, we were early.

I pulled under the overhang to let T out of the car and was met by two of the older kid's teachers. I thought they were the "car greeters" this morning, but I was wrong.

"Are you going with us today?'
"No, sorry, I can't" (I was going to go until my aunt went into the hospital again and I had no one to keep Cait, but it's not like I had to explain myself to a teacher who's name I don't even know. Right?)
"You need to."
I looked at this woman expecting to see something in her face that told me how fun it would be or how special it is to experience the first field trip and once again, I was wrong.

Suddenly both teachers began to go into how T having "one of his tantrums" would just ruin the whole trip for everyone and describing each interacting they have ever had with T that was negative.

T instantly had THAT look on his face-I know it well. Being a little Leo (and yes, as a matter of fact, it does matter, I was raised by 2 damn Leos.) he cannot deal with embarrassment at all. And boy was he embarrassed. So was I. I mean, I was being told how terrible my son was.

Well, public embarrassment and those teachers standing right in front of him, blocking the entrance to the building, and mommy being totally ineffectual and not wanting to be the "not MY child" parent (I know how he is, but he's only 4, for God's sake) I caved and did exactly what they seemed to want  me to do. I put my child back in the car, as he was just starting to melt down, and drove home. No field trip for T today.

I am hurt, angry, embarrassed, and sad that my child seems to be so thoroughly discussed in a negative way among the teachers (they were continuing to bitch about him while I was talking to T; I have really good "teacher" hearing) and that I haven't been as apprised of the situation as thoroughly (his teacher is always so positive and just "it was a bad day" when he doesn't get a green face). Don't get me wrong, I know how my child is. Seriously. He can be obstinate, but he's also extremely loving and loads of fun when handled the correct way. (And let me just say here that, as a teacher, I recognize a teachers who talk AT students instead of TO students. Just saying.)

So, we are at home today, curled up on the couch, both licking our respective wounds from this morning. I have to concentrate on not takign my hurt out on him and just teachign him that he must always be respectful and obedient, even when he may not want to be. I think Mommy should learn how not to be those things when she doesn't have to be.

I will probably never get over the fact that I cried over this today. I will never get over the fact that T cried over this today. I will never got over the fact that T and I were both mad eto feel badly amount him being a hard headed 4 year old, who does have a abandonment and trust issues...damn, people, who wouldn't have them if they'd lead his little life.

T? Oh, he's sharing his breafast (part 2) with his little sister and isn't bothered about not going on the field trip anymore. He may mention it a little later, but it's far from his mind now. Hell, he doesn't even begrudge me for not letting him go.

I sure wish I could forgive and forget like a 4 year old...


  1. Why don't you load up and go have a fun field trip day with both of them. Damn the stupid teachers...don't let them ruin the day :)

    I love you Jamie Girl.

    Squish my baby cousins for me and tell them I love them too :)

  2. Normally I would, but with the rain, I'm nto sure what we can do. I'll figure soemthng out for us. Right now T is reading books to Cait; she really misses him during the day.

  3. This makes me want to go punch out all those stupid teachers who don't realize what an impact they are making! You would think that teachers become teachers because they want to "teach" and be a positive influence on kids these days. Apparently it's just a "job" for some folks, and it's a damn shame!

    Keep your head high! You and I both know T is special and amazing. As long as he knows that too, life is good! Give him a big hug and kiss and enjoy your lazy rainy day with BOTH your little ones:)

  4. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it makes me wonder about these teachers and the more it pisses me off.

    Now.... we are talking about grown women (I assume they are women i.e. catty bitches, right?) who have made it their PROFESSION to teach and/or take care of small children, and they are having a problem because between the TWO of them they are afraid they will be unable to handle someone who is 4? Seriously? What could a 4 year old possibly do to be so completely unruly that an adult would be that fearful? It is not that Tristan did anything sounds more like his teachers are just LAZY and don't want to have to do their job.

    Did they totally FORGET their job description or are they just completely incompetent?


    Do what Tanzie Brown always says - wear your power color. Dress in a formidable suit that makes you feel confident and go down there and flog their asses in a very confident diplomatic intelligent way.

    Grrrr. Tell them your cousin is going to drive down there and kick their respective asses if they don't tighten up and do their job and quit singling out my PEEPS. I happen to be pretty partial to that kid, you know.


  5. Oh - and aren't you PAYING these people? Technically that means they work for YOU, not the other way around. It is not your place to make their life rainbows and butterflies. They signed on to their teaching gig; no one forced them into it. So that means that they do not get to complain about actually having to do the job that they are getting paid for, much less discuss their personal thoughts and opinions about one of their students in his presence. You are a teacher too so I know that you already know that. I would be going down there with the wrath of the Almighty and talking to the person who owns that place.

  6. The princial and I will be having a nice chat tomorrow. Unfortunatly for her, she is yonger than me so the intimidation level is entirely NIL. The biggest issue at this point is I really have no idea what their names are; I can describe them very well though.

    It's probably a good thing my mom was out of town this week because SHE was pretty upset. Pop is upset too, but he's passive like me. But like Pop has always said, "The worse thing you can do make a nice person have to stop being nice." :)

  7. Well, I am sending all my *bitch* mojo your way to add to the cause :)

    Text me and let me know how it goes.

  8. Jamie,
    As the mother of someone teacher's wanted medicated, bagged & tagged, I feel for you. Boys are hard & 4yo boys even harder. They are rolling balls of phoenix-like energy & everything excites them. Stick to your guns, it does get easier. Although, my son is now 15, & we do still get the occasional melt down. He gets over it quicker than he used to. BTW, he's a Cancer - the emotional, family-oriented guy. I wouldn't have him any other way.

  9. Jamie,,,, I think I have questioned these teacher's credentials before... You may want to get a credit for each day he has to go home or NOT allowed to attend.... How about getting credits for all the fund raising you have done... They are there to teach... The first thing that little people have to learn is how to be still and listen... That doesn't mean for the whole day,,, just for a few minutes. This age group (as these "professionals" should know) is to be "actively" involved in the learning process where hands on and interaction is key...Tell me again why this is the "BEST" place for Tristan? I'm just wondering...When you go to school, wear something green and make sure your eyes are the main focus for your audience... Do I need to come down there?

  10. I think I have this pretty well in hand. I will discuss it with the principal tomorrow. I mean, I realize my child can be a serious shit, but he's MY shit and, by God, if he is such a disruption and so unwanted then we will take ourselves home and stay-dammit!

    This seems like another good reason for me to get the job in the Burg and move. Who knows.

  11. Ok...pardon my language here. Mother fucking bitches. How unprofessional can a person be? I mean seriously...these teachers are obviously not well equipped for their jobs. I mean if you can't handle a 4 year old (regardless of moodiness) then perhaps you should think about a new career. I have to reiterate...mother fucking bitches.

  12. I think the part that bothers me the most is that they discussed this in front of him. Poor kid and I know that you handled that far more appropriately than I would have.

  13. Where does he go to school? I would have been pissed!! They should have to deal with it and handle it alone. Its not fair that he has to miss his field trip because they cannot deal with a few problems!! UGH!!! I cannot stand people like that!!! And to wait until the day of, instead of contacting you earlier! The nerve of those people!

  14. I had a nice long talk with the principal and T's teacher, she just happened to be in the office and I invited her to stay. I said my entire piece, complete with angry tears in eyes. She was horrified about the entire situation-AND she knew exactly which teachers I was talking about before I even described them. Very interesting, huh?! Anyway, hse said it would be handled and assured me that nothing of that nature would EVER happen again. I feel better. Point is made...and I didn't even cuss, well almost. I did say "bitching" twice and not as an adjective-oure verb. :)

  15. you mean to tell me it was NOT Tristan's teachers that met you at the car with all of this???????WTF?

  16. No. I'm telling you that I do not knows these teacher's names at all. T doesn't know their names either so I know they aren't one of his. he's pointed out all of his. They are just teachers who have been around his class or something, I guess.

  17. Charges? I complained and the principal will handle it. if it ever happens again, God forgive me for speaking to anyone that way I will that close to a church, because I will lose my mind and immediatly pull T out of there. Period. The principal also knows this to be true. :)

  18. I am so not believing it...still. just so wrong on so many levels.... I love you and I am proud of how you handled it... Jimmy told me you wore green... :)


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