My Letter

It's a fact that I have a smart mouth and a very sharp tongue; two things that I get very naturally, but I've learned to use sparingly. Actually, let's be honest, I barely use them at all. I am such a chicken-shit that I almost never strike out verbally (or in any other way) against those who deserve it. Why? Because I am a non-confrontational chicken-shit. Didn't we cover this already?

However, since writing is my outlet, I've decided to do the one thing I would never do normally-be confrontational. I've been reading blogs from Ms. Single Mamma and her friends and discovered the most amazing thing...the letter they will never send. The letter to the other woman who prompted the end of marriage. Here it goes...

You,

First, I need you to understand that no matter what you were told , you were not special-you were just the most easily manipulated. I do not believe for a moment that you were the first, and I know you were about to be replaced, at least temporarily. Sorry, but it's true. You were the equivalent of the sickly caribou the lion preys on because it lagged behind the rest of the herd.

I have no idea what you were thinking, little girl. Did you believe him when he said you were special?  Yeah, he told me that once upon a time too. Is that assurance of being special what kept you coming back, even though you knew me...you knew my children? Did you think you would get to take my place? He would never have had the balls to leave me; he knew he would suffer a painful and violent death. Trust me, only jail has kept him safe. You wasted your youth and innocence on him, just as I did. Even if you had ever taken my place you would have succumbed to the same fate, because you would have aged. Eventually you would have turned 30, turned into a Mom, and he would have sought out another lagging caribou.

I won't ask you why you did it, because the "why" just does not matter to me anymore. It's irrelevant because it would simply be rationalisation anyway. The real reason is because you were the sickly and crippled herd mate; I'm pretty sure that's how I ended up with him myself so it makes perfect sense. Being a grand manipulator, he always knew how to phrase things and knew exactly what to say to get what he wanted out of anyone. And he always did.

While he will always live with what he has done and so will you. But to you I offer these words of wisdom: First, heal yourself so you are no longer the weakest in the herd and easiest to manipulate. Take responsibility for your part in all of this because no matter how "damaged" you were, you still chose to enter into a relationship with a married man. Finally, the next time you decide to have a boyfriend, you might want to make sure he isn't married.

Me