My Doctorate and My Happiness

So, once upon a time, in a land far away (specifically, Hattiesburg last year), I began an EdD program that I was just sure would be the answer to my troubles. Yes, my troubles. It would give me something to focus on so I wouldn't think about my very unsatisfying marriage. I mean, chasing the kids around all day, teaching a couple of classes online, and working on the EdD should be enough for me to do. Right?

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, I did not have to have an extra activity to distract me from my miserable marriage, but still I was embroiled in this program and finding myself increasingly bored and annoyed. Why? Well, because I really hate academic writing. Seriously! Just because I can DO it and I'm pretty damn good at it doesn't mean I actually LIKE it in any way-shape-form-or-fashion. I was bored. I was uninterested. I was spending NO time on it, yet had an A. (Told you I was good.) And most of all, it did not make me happy.

If I have learned anything in this past year it is this: If you are unhappy, you do not have to continue with it. Period. See, I didn't know that being unhappy was a good reason to get divorced. However, I have since learned that it is a perfectly good reason if you have exhausted all other options.

Well..I may not have exhausted all my options with my program, but it didn't make me happy. I found it uninteresting and I just don't want to do it. I'm working on other, less academic pursuits and I'm really enjoying myself.

That being said...I AM looking into a certification into TESOL and perhaps even finishing my Master's in English to help my chances of getting hired by a community college. But at the end of the day...I'm ALL about the things that make me happy and I'm discovering what those things are more and more each day. In fact, I have a list of just a handful of Things that make me Very Happy

• My kid's laughter
• My kid's cool imaginations
• getting articles published online
• allowing myself to decide what I do and don't like
• allowing myself to decide WHO I do and don't like
• My new, dark Pink leather jacket (It's delicious.)
• cuddling on the couch watching cartoons with my kids
• tickle fights
• bangle bracelets
• dangly earrings
• colorful clothing
• sandles
• cooking with a glass or wine or a beer close at hand and the radio in the back ground
• singing loud in the car
• allowing myself "treats" and not feeling guilty
• my hair short and red
• feeling that I have a facet of myself that I'm finally releasing into the world
• seeing my curves shrink, but still keep the curve
• anything dealing with England
• talking to smart people
• flirting and being flirted with
• rapid release sinus medicine
• knowing I have as much freedom as I allow myself
• knowing that there is something amazing out there with my name on it.