In Honor of Being Sneaky

I have been racking my brain since I signed up for my friend's blogfest at Cerebral Lunchbox to figure out exactly what to write about. You see, we are supposed to write about a time when we screwed someone over (or got screwed over ourselves) in honor of just how badly the native Americans were screwed over when the first "pale face" stepped foot off a boat.

Ahhh...that was a fine bit of nasty sneakiness wasn't it?

Of course, I totally feel remorseless because every person who would create the future genetics of me were either chillin in Ireland or being of the screwed over Choctaws. Therefore, I can SO talk all the shit I want.

But I believe I digress...I still have to think of something witty and creatively intelligent to say about being screwed over. Grrrr... So here's the thing, I started this blog because I was screwed over. Like Royally So! (If you are new here I really don't want to go into it but feel free to rifle through old posts to hear all about whatshisname and all of the fun we had while married. Whoa palatable sarcasm. Too much?) Anyway...

Since I can conjure up any examples of a time when I deliberately screwed someone over in a malicious way (I'm one of those people that's just too damn nice for her own good. It's disgusting really.) I figured I'd talk about how I subtly subject my little children to being screwed over in small amount each day. (Having half of my genes they too, are too nice for their own good too.)

Now, before anyone calls DHS on me, just read on because it's more about being sneaky than really being mean...because it's all about leaving the house.

You see my babies tend towards being Mommy Clingy (even now I'm typing this one handed because Cait is laying beside me holding my hand. Not hating, just saying.) and the love to go places. They love riding in cars (I'm so thankful they are good trip takers, but I think that's another post). They love going shopping They love people watching. Basically, it's obvious that we share genetics because I'm the same way, I just like to go and be out. Now most of the time I take them wherever I go, but there are times when Mommy needs a break. A Break, do you hear me?! 

I have never never never understood those "Martyr Mommies" that insist that they love to live for their children's every waking moment and breathe. Seriously? Did you just move here from Stepford or are you diseased? Don't get too close I'm afraid whatever it is you have will rub off on me and I will forget how to be Jamie. Personally, I think they are lying because they think that's what woman/mommies are supposed to do. Yeah, umm not so much here...Anywhoo, I digress yet again, sorry...

So back to my break. I do not get them very often, but when I do I am ready and out the door in 5 minutes flat!!! I do not want to waste a single second to sweet freedom and quiet, but I am almost always left with the problem of how to get out of the door unnoticed. Now Tuesday nights, when I have class, they are nonplussed about me leaving then because they know that mommy works on that night, but any other time I have tiny tots scrambling for shoes and trying to barricade the door by the time I get there. "I go. I go!!" Sigh

How do I get them out of the way so I can sneak out and enjoy my time alone? Oh, I'm a total sneak and, thankfully, my parents share this trait and have no problem with bribery. I usually send them into the den under the guise of "Poppa has a treat for you guys" and as soon as they round the corner to the den, I silently slide out the door.

Now it doesn't always work and there have been times I have left them yelling and banging on the door, and yes, as a matter of fact, I can here them as I walk to the car. And yes, I do continue to walk to the car. Why?

Three reasons:

1. My parents will bribe them with candy or food to make them stop.
2. They will be over it and be completely fine in 60 seconds.
3. By the time I'm willing to leave without distraction, I need to go. Seriously. Need. To. Go.

Does this make the world's worst Mommy? While so many think so, I tend to belive that perserving my sanity makes me a much better Mommy...sneakiness and all.  

Halloween Goodies

So, My wonderful friend over at Cerebral Lunchbox put together this fab little blogfest for us little guys and I am overwhelmingly happy to be apart of it for three important reasons...


1- She and I are similar souls (otherwise known as rather recovering teachers who'd much rather write)


2-I gotta be honest...I'm not against the idea of having more members of the FF to listen to me ramble and occasionally bitch. Just saying...


3-This post is all about Halloween and I lovelovelovelove Halloween!!!

Anyway...on with the show...

Halloween creates a special kind of nostalgia for me because as a kid we had our own kind of tradition of eating pizza and of my Pop stealing testing the good candy. 


(Yes, I've tried to recreate with my own kids...however, they are just now old enough to "get" the whole idea of Halloween and tradition. Ok, at 2 and 4 they don't get tradition, but the do understand consistency and it's almost the same thing. Don't judge..I'm working on it. And I like candy. What? They are too little to need all that sugar...share the love I say. )


The main trouble here is this post is supposed to be about Halloween specials from when TV used to be something other than medical dramas and cop shows. (NOT hating on cop shows, mind you. Personally, I can't live without NCIS or perhaps I can and just dont' want to..MmmmMark Harmon. Oops Sorry.)

Other than Your the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, I have absolutely no memory of any Halloween specials or shows....except this one.

Yep, Teen Witch. (insert jeering, finger pointing, and gnashing of teeth here)


I admit it...I watched it every year. Umm, I think I watched it last year too, but last year is a kind of blur so I can't be sure. For those unfamiliar with his cinematic jewel, it is about the girl pictured above, please take a few minutes of of your life and peruse the trailer...it's freaking classic.



 Louise, is is indeed a teen and finds out on her 16th birthday that she is a witch. Now she's been a total dork up to this point in life and finds herself suddenly popular because, well, she's a witch people..she casts a spell.

Yes, it is a typical, teenage angst, findingyourtruepathandfriends, feel-good, MESSAGE laden Disney movie that only the 80's could supply. (Think Sixteen Candles Disney-fied) However, for a girl that has always felt socially awkward, the idea of begin able to have that much control over the world and people sounds fabulous. I mean, who wouldn't want to cast a spell and suddenly be and have everything you ever wanted. Hummm, that STILL sounds like a good plan. 

My choice of spell pretty obvious...If you've read this blog at all, you totally know what I would cast mine for....





I wonder...what would YOU guys want to cast a spell for in your own lives?